Christmas again and you are on my mind, as you always will be. Happy Christmas love, wherever you are.

Feeling very sad and down today about losing Gloria. I still love you so much and tears once again come into my eyes. It is so difficult to carry on without you. I wonder many times if I should try to be with you again sooner than God wishes. Days like today, that thought is in my mind, but as in days past, I still want to rely on your advice, but you are not here to ask. If I make my own decision, will it be right ? Once decided, it is too late to turn back. It's so hard to carry on without you, without your love and intelligence to advise me. I am lost so easily on my own.

My thoughts in 2023 remain as strong as ever and I still feel I don't deserve your forgiveness as I will continue in never forgiving myself. In fact there are more things in my mind that are now added, and as much as I am deeply sorry for however they affected you, again I will never forgive myself, or ask for your forgiveness.